KARDAS - Accbar Pita

* Chapter 8 *

16 March 1997

16 March 1997

Hi Cyber Friend,

Sunday night and Monday morning it snowed again! What fun. Another 2 inches of white stuff in the garden, though it melted too fast in the +50° day.

Monday I complained to Dr. Shirnett K. Williamson, the radiation oncologist who is supposed to be mine -- though I had been dealing with Dr.Machtay up till now. Who knows how they do things? She has a better "bedside" manner than the latter! Thank you GOD! Although I do have some reservations about her complete dedication to me as a patient -- example, when I finished a radiation session I was complaining about the blood test results that had not come through yet (this was Thursday) saying that I would not start another session without seeing the test results. Looking over my shoulder I saw her, sort of hiding her head in some X-rays she was looking at, and I said isn't that her? -- then she came to life and said lets look to see what the results are! When she found them -- they had not arrived, but had to be downloaded via computer from the data bank -- the blood indices were lower than the previous weeks results -- to which she said that they were still within the acceptable range.

She prescribed a box of rubber gloves (when I went to the pharmacy the guy said that HMO doesn't include things such as rubber gloves -- to which I replied that I was given a prescription for them -- and the dork replied in a loud voice that if they gave me a prescription for toilet paper it would also not be covered!! I felt like screaming that he needs some customer relations training, but did not -- I wonder why??) and told me to call a company for some radiation cream for my "sunburned" parts -- which frequently really hurt. She also said to take Extra Strength Tylenol for the pain because I was afraid to use the morphine derivitive due to my usual reaction to such things -- I get even more neurotic than I already am! She said I might get constipated, which I do not need -- and that I might hallucinate, like see things! I asked her what I might SEE, and she said they might be weird things -- I really don't have to see more weird things than I already do!!

So I called Roberts Medical, Inc. ((800) 832 2767) when I got home and they said they would send me a sample. The next day, by UPS, I received 2 8oz tubes of BIAFINE®, made by Laboratoire Medix, France. It has been available in France for over 20 years already ("for use in radiation therapy-induced skin reactions"). It seems to work well, though it should be applied 3X/day. Hope it works.

Put the kitten ad in on Wednesday and sold 2 that day -- 2 left. WOW, now I have some $$ for food and all -- a nice feeling!

Wednesday I have been feeling quite dizzy. When I left the dogs out -- I always go out with them due to no fence, to watch the little and big woof-woofs. Almost fell a couple of times -- thought I was going to pass out. I asked for the blood test results of the sample taken Monday, but for some reason they were not available! I wonder -- something must be VERY low! Shall demand the results tomorrow (see above).

Wednesday they did a simulation for the new template for the radiation machine -- is supposed to limit the area being radiated, to direct to more exactly at the cancer site. They squished some barium sulphate up my colon to make the localization of the cancer site more apparent on the X-ray; am still seeing some of the white stuff exude (= come out) a day later. The whole thing took about an hour, and I was in pain in my rib cage area because the table was extended for my extra length and my ribs were right over the fold in the table which was not exactly flat! I asked that nice female radiation technician, Hellenna, if she could save me the old template for me -- think I might frame it and hang it somewhere at home -- corny, no? We shall see if she saves it for me. I think they change it next Monday, when I shall be back in the hospital for another week of chemo -- WHICH I REALLY DO NOT LOOK FORWARD TO!!

TV: Buffy The Vampire Slayer, same title as the movie, now a series, was imaginative and had some real ugly vampires waiting for the harvest [8]; Blockbuster Entertainment Awards, interesting to see who is on top -- did not watch it all [5]; The Sentinel, with lots of poisonous buggy friends, imported illegally inside fake precolumbian pottery [8]; Star Trek Voyager, part 2 of the episode that brought them back to 1990 California to destroy a 29th Century space vehicle that somehow crashed after passing through a time warp[8]; Eight Weeks to Optimum Health, on PBS, with Dr. Andrew Weil, author of Spontaneous Healing, the book I read after learning about the cancer [10]; Sliders, which sort of suggested that one should not be in a locked sauna with a cute naked woman who is all hands! [8]; Dark Skies [9]., always introducing historical footage of 60s and 70s social/political events to highten the "possibilities" of the improbable [9]; Bridge of Time, an adventure in a lost city where newcomers have to decide whether they want to stay -- it would have taken me 15 seconds or less to decide to remain! [9].

It has become extremely uncomfortable to sit -- the radiation burns in the folds of skin surrounding my anal orifice are a real hastle -- and I still have another 12 radiation sessions left!! I also seem to have dropsy -- seem to drop things (keys, papers, pens, etc.) more than the usual. Is this a neural (= nerve) thing or what? Sometimes even find it difficult to page through a magazine! What fun. I won't even repeat the detail about the times I have to urinate and still get the gases, etc. that have been plaguing me since the start of the whole thing.

Thursday I finally got the Festiva "inspected" -- I actually went to an inspection station on 7 February and had it rejected because there was condensation in the right headlight! This I did because I was stopped by the police because they noticed, somehow from the road, that the sticker was overdue -- like since July 1996! So the local guy drove me home (about 7 minutes away) and picked me up when it was done a couple hours later. Was a nice thought! So now I am good for another 4 months.

The machine that they are using to administer the lethal doses of radiation is a CLINAC 2100C/D, a linear accelerator producing, among other things, photons E, whatever they are! I thought that photons were "corpuscles" of light energy?? I calculate that the dosage lasts about 16-18 seconds on the front of my pelvic area and the same time from the back. I usually close my eyes when the beep comes on for the radiation and imagine Zeus standing there throwing lightening bolts at the cancer site.

Today, Friday, is the last weekly radiation session (19 sessions thus far) -- it all starts again on Monday, when I shall be back in the hospital for a week. I am always relieved when Friday rolls around so that my body can spend 2 days "recovering" a slight bit from the radiation effects. Hellenna said that she could not give me the old template because the metal is a BIOHAZARD -- yeh! BUT, she did promise to save me the plastic base, outlining where the metal was. I do not know what kind of biohazard the metallic part can be-- they use them for door stops!!

I was sort of surprised to find that there are three (3) new templates! They will be zapping me from the right and left sides, and from the back, changing templates as they change the orientation of the machine. I shall be on my stomach for the new doses beginning on Tuesday -- had been on my back for those up till now. This should be the last 10 or 11 days of radiation -- I hope. Then 2-3 months of "getting back to normal", after which they check to see how good of a job they did -- I F I survive that long! I have never felt so shitty! (figuratively and literally!)

Friday I was daring -- called in an order of Chinese, about 6 minutes from home. A pint of shrimp and snow peas, a pint of chicken chow mein, and some steamed dumplings. With the usual red wine -- my last bottle! The fortune cookie says: All will go well with your new project. The dogs enjoyed the leftovers, as usual.

Thursday night I had to sleep in one of the two second floor rooms with a door due to the fact that all of the cats and kittens had to sleep in my bed! It was just too much physical and psychological pressure for me to get to sleep. Kamiel, the male Sphinx cat (the "hairless kind") spent some time scratching on the door to get in, B U T not!. He is sitting above the keyboard as usual now. Also sold the last 2 kittens today, a guy got a pair-- has an 8 year old Siamese already. Synchronicity!! He knows Mrs. Jocelyn White, a computer teacher at school, and one of my favoritist buddies. She was the first to send me a get well card.

Friday night I had to sleep in the room with the door to keep the cats out again -- they still bothered me as they curled up in places around the painful groin area. Poor cats, they missed my warmth for another night -- even without the kittens they bothered me.

Saturday Bernar was here when I woke up. I told him that I think the sewer drain was clogged up -- was it ever! Apparently I inadvertently put some of the baby wipes in the toilet instead of the wastebasket and they do not come apart in the sewer line! So he spent hours flushing, using the green machine to get stuff out, etc. That is why the cellar was flooded, and I thought it might be the washer. Well, he spent the whole day working on the atasco (Sp., clog). He is so good, a real ANGEL in many respects! I miss his sense of humour!! When I use a joke to lighten a difficult situation, he takes it seriously and gets all hyper! <SORRY>

I had foreseen going with him to Sams Club to get cat food and miscellaneous stuff but decided that while he was working and all I did was get on his nerves, so I would drive the 30 minutes to Delran to do the shopping. It is really excruciating to drive even the 6 minutes to the hospital for radiation every day -- imagine what 1/2 hour was! Another job done.

Also got a large manila envelope from Deacon Dews, another of my favoritist teachers at school -- filled with get well notes from most of his students (whom I know) and some religious thoughts for healing. He just moved to a new house slightly South of Trenton -- visited me here last year and liked the Koi ponds and was interested in doing something similar at the new place. When the weather is nice one can sit on the stone slab patio and listen to the falling water, watch the fish and enjoy the surrounding greenry. Like you are in the country -- very peaceful and relaxing. It has not been warm enough to sit out there yet, and I have really never had the time to just sit out there until now, unfortunately.

I made a tortilla a la marinera (Sp., tortilla Seafood Style) this week, and some cyber contacts asked for the recipe, so here it is:

INGREDIENTS:

potatoes (4 or 5 nice sized ones -- depends on the size of the frying pan), olive oil, salt, an onion, some milk, small can of peas, cooked shrimp, garlic (a couple cloves -- to taste), 3 or 4 eggs, pepper, Adobe seasoning (with cilantro), stuffed Spanish olives (about a dozen, cut in half), black olives ( about a dozen, cut in half).

DOING IT :

fill the bottom of the large frying pan with about 1/2 inch of oil, heat on medium high; peal potatoes, cut in about 8th inch slices; dice onion and garlic. Place in hot oil, fry until a wooden spatula easily cuts the potatoes.

In a large bowl, place eggs and beat, adding about 1/2 cup milk. Add the rest of the ingredients and spices and mix well.

When the potatoes are done, scoop them from the pan using a Chinese type wire strainer, place with the egg mixture. Mix well. I save the left over oil in a small covered pan.

Put a little oil in the pan, and add the tortilla mixture, spreading it evenly over the pan bottom. Heat should be medium. When the bottom is browned, place a large, flat round pot cover or dinner plate over the frying pan and carefully turn over -- this is the difficult part. Allow the half fried tortilla to slide into the pan, evening it out if necessary. Continue frying for a couple minutes -- the longer it is fried/heated, the drier it will be -- I like it sort of juicy inside (not raw). The resulting tortilla usually lasts me 2 days -- have the rest for lunch, after heating in the microwave for about 2 minutes.

E N J O Y!

Saturday night a woman from New York called about a print she was interested in, asking whether I would go to the flea market today, Sunday -- I did not really want to go because it was going to be colder than last week, B U T since I need the $$ I had to go. Slept in the other room again, getting up about 5:30h after sleeping poorly. Sold a couple things, getting home about 14:30h (= about 2:30 pm). My neighbors, Rosemary and Dennis at the flea market gave me an apple pie (with raisons). When I got home I found a bag near the door with some chunks of lasagna and a box of Belgian chocolates shaped like marine life (seahorses, scallop shells, Nautilus shells, and Turritella shells and other snails) from Patty, a local friend. I do seem not to have lost my appetite -- weighed 202# at last count!

OK, this report has come to an end. I go back into the hospital at 10h tomorrow and shall probably be there until Friday for another week of chemo (& radiation!). Then only about 7 days more of radiation, I think, and a couple months of getting back to "normal", whatever that is -- then they see what happened to the friendly cancer cells.

Until next time, my best,

Sonny

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