KARDAS - Accbar Pita

* Chapter 20 *

8 June 1997

8 June 1997

Welcome to one of the, hopefully, final chapters of this special limited edition cancer journal.

Let's do the week in review:

Monday

Dr. Williamson's nurse called me again, this time to tell me that I have a sigmoidoscopy procedure scheduled for Thursday. I even answered the phone this time, hoping to get it finally over with and to keep me from worrying more than necessary -- at least until the results are in!

Continued working on cataloguing my library. Have 349 books done.

It is a tedious tarea (Sp., task). Each tome must be gone through. Data included in my database: author(s), year published, publisher, city of publisher, title, number of pages, source, date obtained, and cost.

In the Notes section goes whether it is soft/hard/cloth/leather bound, has a gold tooled binding and/or gilt spines, has a dust jacket and/or slipcase, who printed it and where (frequently not always the same as the "publisher "), any edition info (such as "First edition", "revised", "third printing", etc.), number of copies printed (when stated), copy number (for limited edition), whether it is signed/dedicated by the author or illustrator, and number of volumes in set.

Next comes the Keyword field where I include the words one would use to locate a particular book: fossils, art-russian, Dali, archaeoastronomy, sculpture-modern, artglass, ponds, fish, etc..

And last but not least is a field for the language(s) the text is printed in. I don't enter English unless it is one of several languages used.

Tuesday

Mark left for Connecticut to prepare for the grand celebration of his parents 50th wedding anniversary next Saturday. W O W.

I finally painted the new door frame the same medium green colour that the rest of the second floor trim is done in. Also touched up several chipped areas on parts of the trim in a couple other rooms -- I really did not like seeing the spots where the paint was missing due to cats, bumping into a corner with a chair or whatever. Sometimes I think that I am a little too finicky about approaching perfection -- at least in what is within my power to do better, never really reaching a perfect state in anything -- after all, only God is perfect!

Washed several loads of clothes.

Finished 437 books, total.

Wednesday

ONLY liquids after lunch -- no solid food! Gawd, this is what I should do every other day, at least, to lose weight! So I had to go out to Super-Fresh to get some Coke (not the snorting kind!) and jello.

[an aside on snorting and related concepts] : I have always gotten my own personal H I G H S doing the many and varied things which usually occupy me, like

-research in science to attempt to answer questions which I have posed about aspects of the World which surrounds me and of which I am an integral part, in order to sense a greater participation in it,

-having a fossil/art work/book in my hands and getting the vibes of distant times and places,

-painting my house and restoring things to enjoy the fresh, intended look of period things,

-being with a friend(s)/writing in order to share my life experiences and ideas and things with them in order to impart to these some R E A L Universal meaning/sense,

-organizing everything possible around me so that I KNOW exactly (more or less) what I am dealing with/may better understand/can utilize for something /locate easily,

-caring for and observing various and sundry animals and plants which allows me greater insights into the very soul of Nature and the same/similar qualities which we also share in union with the myriad galaxies and nebulae,

-music to sense and imbibe the often magical power it can exert over our moods and being,

-dabbling in art and crafts (painting, sculpture, copper enamelling, silver casting, candle making, etc.) which brings out, in an overt sense, our likes, innermost feelings/ideas and a sense of creation usually associated only with The Creator,

-and above all/primordially intimate LOVE for/with ONE person which is the ultimate bonding of the individuals with the Universe and combines all of the above on a philosophical/physical/human plane.

It may sound corny and extremely old fashioned , B U T..... who could possibly need other stimulants/incentives/insights to really enjoy LIFE or, nominally , to escape from imagined/perceived personal/group demons.

Remember the three windows facing the ponds that I primed last week? I painted them the Arts and Crafts yellow that the other house trim is in. Now, one of these days I have to get the ole single-edged razor blades out and scrape the paint from the windows -- including the ones in the sunroom and my bedroom that I painted just before the winter set in last year. Years ago I tried using masking tape on window glass before painting the sash, B U T discovered that it is much easier to carefully paint the glazing then scrape off whatever goes over when the paint is dry. It is a hastle on the fingers, sort of -- have been lucky thus far and have not yet cut myself!

Now, up to 550 books done, from 14 shelves. That is a average of 34 books/shelf. Only have some 56 shelves at this site left to do, plus many boxes stored in the basement. This does not include the books in the shelves at the other house, nor the many I have in Tenerife! Fun for the feeble minded! But it is the first time that I really attempted to organize my research library -- a dream for many, many years! And my cancer started it all! Even the worst things that happen to us can have some positive implications!

Did the Fleets enema thing before crawling into bed at 2am. Almost did not make it to the bathroom in time!

Thursday

Did not sleep too well! Got up at 7h, had 4 containers of jello and some coffee. Another Fleets enema. The appointment was for noon, having to sign-in at the registration desk at 11:30h. So I left at 11h -- always attempt to get to an appointment early in case the car breaks down, a dinosaur walks on the car or I have a heart attack along the road, among other possible late-causing events. I usually always allow for a maximum number of eventualities just in case, and when everything goes well, which it almost always does, then I arrive early and feel good! At least I would not be totally disappointed I F something went wrong -- ONLY if I did not foresee it! Then I would probably go B O N K E R S !! Just kiding!

Signing-in was the easy part -- then I almost fell asleep waiting until 13h when they finally called me in.

Again I was able to watch the colour TV monitor to see the travels of the scope as it traversed some 60cm (= about 23.622047") of colon and gawd knows what else. At the 60cm milestone one begins to feel quite pained and pressured, but luckily it reverses direction rather quickly.

*** PIC Included : MY COLON, inside view ***

Dr.Kruger was at the controls again for this second sigmoidoscopic examination. I was too intent on watching the monitor to check out what his control panel was like -- I sort of imagined it was like a joystick, similar to the ones you play video games with. The King of the Hill episode (TV cartoon), in which the main male character had this exam, came to mind as the test continued. I really hoped that the MD and his assistants would not stop half-way through the procedure to stretch and do exercises!

Air pumped in to enlarge the viewing area. Nice rugose curves and ridges. Distracting fluids, which were sucked away by the probe for a better view. Clean, slimey surfaces, pink in color -- even the blood vessels are clearly observed. He stopped to take three souvenir views by computer camera (a SONY) along the scenic route (I got a copy of them after the procedure, one of which is included with this chapter for your viewing pleasure). He also stopped to take a biopsy, a sample of cells/tissue in two or three places.

It was over rather quickly, or so it seemed -- I was having so much fun!

The blood oxygen thingy was still attached to my finger. I asked the nurse if it could be attached to my ear (just to be humerous, of course, and because I theorized that the ear would present a better data acquisition surface due to its softer quality as opposed to the thick skin of the finger -- although I have no idea how the apparatus works, it just occured to me that perhaps it reads through the more or less transparent finger nail??). She said the ear was a better place for it! So we tried the ear thing. Before, on my finger, it registered 97%, now it went up to 98% -- and after I breathed deeply and held my breathe for six seconds, I got it to 100% (I learned to do this during my two hospital stays, often raising the O2 level by more than 12 percentage points!). I then had to be a smart ass and suggested that I could think of another better place to put the clip, but it would probably not fit too easily! She dutifully replied that hospital guidelines do not permit that sort of thing! Oh, well, I tried!

"Get dressed and let some of the air out", said the nurse. Yeh! Why not just stick a ventillating exhaust fan up my butt and blow it out before I got off the bed? Oh, well, so for a couple hours I have been self-ventillating, even as I walked through the maze-like hospital halls on my way out!! Sort of embarising!

So I rushed out of the bathroom/undressing room to attempt to get to Dr. Kruger before he flitted away to check out his learned opinion -- but he was already gone. I mentioned to the nurse that I did not see the huge reddish mass of what was diagnosed as cancer in the first colonoscopy. She replied that the doctor also made that observation, remarking that if he had not done the previous test that he would say that there was no cancer present and I had a perfectly healthy colon! Thus the biopsy to see what happened/changed since the first exam.

Can you imagine, I was crying with joy and thanksgiving as I walked through three parking lots to return to the ole Festiva. I shocked even myself

B U T

I still have to wait for the professional report/opinion from Dr. Williamson before I can celebrate anything! And she will not be back in her office until next Monday! So let's not jump the gun and say I am cured. It is absolutely and totally inconceivable that the cancer, which was so enormous at Christmas time, would/could have disappeared so completely!

I am also worried about that lymphadenopathy thing on the Catscan -- a reader of ACCBAR PITA wrote me that it could lead to problems down the road, whatever that means.

My own "impression" of the colon travelogue is V E R Y upbeat, for the first time in muchos meses (Spa., many months!). Again, I have to keep my conceptual reserves in place until the "final" results are in.

Friday

Cleaned out the pond filters again. I was surprised at how filthy they both were -- probably the reason why the water was beginning to get cloudy! Dah!

Went to get some Water Hyacinths to put some plants back after the winter-- they all die off over the winter except the Dwarf Cattails which are about 2 feet tall already. I saw some really cute Comets, which are a type of goldfish. They are red but have neat black markings on their backs, a couple with a series of dots! -- so I got 8 of them and put them in the middle pond -- usually do not have any fish there.

I transferred another set of hand-written records to computer: Fish Inventory Record. The first fish were bought at Woolworth's right after the first pond was completed, 2 April 1995. According to these notes the majority of fish (16 0f 18) that died since then were the ones obtained at 2 local pet shops! I did not lose any last winter, although they are in the ponds all year round. That very cold previous winter only one croaked! Not bad! I am rather surprised at how relatively easy it is to keep a pond/s going well. And the fish really look happy!

Saturday

Still waiting for that MUCH delayed payment for some of my art works sold at auction on 20 May 1995 by Mrs. Joanne Grant of the Mid-Hudson Galleries!!

Also still waiting for a resolution of the various things pending related to school, my disability retirement, etc..

I am reminded of all the monumental banners and signs around Madrid after I first arrived there: 25 Años de Paz (Spa., 25 Years of Peace), politically correctly referring to the rule of Generalisimo Francisco Franco. I often heard a people-in-the-street version: 25 Años de Paciencia (Spa., 25 Years of Patience)! [the Z and the C are pronounced the same]

I have to go to the flea market tomorrow because after so many months of NO income, I still have bills on the back burner!

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