KARDAS - Accbar Pita

* Chapter 17 *

18 May 1997

18 May 1997

FROM ME TO YOU!!!

[ NB. The following two "cyber sketches" did not turn out correctly once translated to html -- sorry ! ]

___ ____ ___

____( \ " " / )____

(____ \____ / (0 0) \ ____/ ____)

(____ '-------( ) )-------' ____)

(____ ______________\ .____. /________________)

(_____/ '-.____.-' \_____)

*Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug*

*Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug*

*Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug*

*Hug*Hug*Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug*

*Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug*

*Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug*

I acquired the above (in black print, with some parts out of alignment, as is sometimes the case -- even though it is perfect on the screen, when I print it there are still offsets from what I have on the screen) from one of the receivers of ACCBAR PITA and thought it would make a nice beginning statement for this chapter. I am a firm believer that hugs cure all! Only wish that I would get some every once in a while!!

>>> PIC attached : me, on right with the big fuzzy thing between my legs,

with Capt. J. Peter Moore,

Dalí's former secretary // in Cadaqués, Spain, Easter/1994 <<<

Went to the flea market -- sold 2 small tables, one an old Victorian marble top, that were cluttering up the downstairs where I live now.

Sunday evening the neighbors, Lucy and John, invited me to dinner at their house, at the end of the back driveway. Turkey and the trimmings! WOW!! It was a great feeling to be able to eat with someone! Guess it must be the human touch!

Since the beginning of the month my fossil/mineral dealer friend, Mark (from Connecticut), has been staying in a room on the second floor (for lack of space on the 1st, where I am), now sharing "the apartment" with Bernar and his friend, Bernie. The only thing is that Mark pays rent while the other full time occupant does not-- or at least Bernar has neglected to tell me that he does. My border's rent goes to pay utilities on this place and the house near the train station.

Mark is not there every day. This week he left early Monday morning and returned Friday from a visit with his parents and a side trip to Boston. The other "boarder" has been upstairs every day, arriving in the afternoon and remaining until work time in the morning.

I do not really mind or whatever -- Bernar is the co-owner (with me) of the place on paper, B U T.....

At least with Mark around I have somebody to talk pleasantly to every once in a while about fossils and stuff -- it helps!

I cleaned the pond filters twice (and one can see the bottom of the ponds for the first time since the winter!), cut the grass, organized very little of the downstairs (have to move a lot of stuff to the other house -- where there is loads of room -- before I can do much more where I am), spackled the new door -- it is now ready for painting.

Wednesday I went for the Catscan -- after drinking loads of that barium stuff early in the morning, then more at the hospital! Got copies of the 4 films for myself -- only wish I could interpret them! FAXed Dr. Schaebler to check the results and to find out when the next appointment with him is.

Checked into the colon cancer chat room for the last time -- still too much "negativity ". Someone had significant problems 5 and 9 years A F T E R radiation therapy! Many others have recurrences of their cancer in some other part of their body following "cure "! Of course, all that lethal radiation and poisonous chemical "therapy " can lead to anything! I think that I am deciding to really check out some alternative, possibly a trial for one of the newer "biological" therapies, as mentioned in Chapter 15. Or wait until some other thing comes up. Or die waiting!

The MDs will find something wrong with me in the new Catscan, and will, of course, according to their specialty, suggest that I have more chemo and/or radiation, and/or surgery. My hair is still falling out in the shower from the last time! Not that I really mind, but God only knows what the other delayed results will be, somewhere in my body, sometime down the road.

Someone suggested that these MDs would be very hard hit had other, less dangerous and more effective therapies to be developed -- T R U E !! -- and they are being worked on right now!

By Thursday you would not believe how many phone calls I made and FAXes I sent to the School Board, the Teachers Disability Pension, Workers Compensation, the Trenton Education Association Union lawyer, Washington National Insurance Company, and an upstate New York auctioneer (Mrs. Joanne Grant of Mid-Hudson Auction Galleries, formerly of Cornwall-on-Hudson but now located in New Windsor, N.Y.) who owes me quite a bit of $$$$$ from a sale, some time ago, of some of my art works, to see what is happening -- NOTHING on a n y of these fronts !! This is becoming like a nightmare!

I made out a new will.

I just ordered a pizza, with the works, with some of what I took in at the flea market last Sunday -- it was a cold day and people seemed to keep their hands in their pockets all the time! It will be here, hopefully, in about a half hour.

Friday I decided that I have been cooped up in the house for too many months, so I went to New York about 10:30h. The main aim of the trip was to visit with Amaury and Cathy, my former neighbors from here. The drive was the same as usual, nothing new along the road.

I got my haircut at the usual place, 303 Park Avenue at 23rd Street, the Jean Louis David Salon -- a high sounding name for a good haircut place. Have been going there for years, and always have the same guy do it, Boris, an x-Russian whose son is studying computer science near here. I get a sort of flattop, shortish, my usual cut.

After I finished I called Amaury to tell him that I had arrived -- had sent him a email note before I left. He said that he would be free about 16:30, so I went to the Strand bookstore for the second time in 10 years to see if I could find books on fossils -- did not find any!

Then I called him again at 17:30 but got no answer. At that time I was parked on Hudson Street, across from the Hudson Diner. I decided to have something to eat at the Diner (a salad, liver and unions, french fries and broccoli, with red wine), then started home. I had to ask several people how to get to the Holland Tunnel from there because I had never gone from the Diner to the Tunnel alone before. So I spent what was left from the flea market!

When I got home there was a FAX waiting for me from Dr. Schaebler, with the results of the Catscan:

1) CT/Abdomen: "Multiple small rounded low density hepatic lesions are again noted compatible with cysts, as demonstrated on prior liver sonogram of 2/5/97. There appear to be some additional tiny low density lesions, too small to accurately characterize. These also presumably represent cysts which were not as clearly delineated on the prior examination due to technical differences between the studies. Several left renal cysts are also demonstrated, the largest of which measures about 5cm. No splenic, adrenal, pancreatic, or right renal mass is present. There is no retroperitoneal lymphadenopathy."

"IMPRESSION: Multiple small rounded low density liver lesion compatible with cysts. These do, however, appear more numerous compared to the prior examination. However, the additional lesions are too small to accurately characterize. No retroperitoneal lymphadenopathy. Left renal cysts

2) CT/Pelvis: "There has been resultant interval decrease in size of the bulky posterior and right posterolateral rectal wall mass as well as interval decrease in size of the perirectal and presacral space soft tissue thickening. The mild left iliac lymphadenopathy has remained stable. The appearance of the urinary bladder, prostate gland, and seminal vesicles remains normal."

"IMPRESSION: Interval decrease in size of the posterior and right postereolateral rectal wall mass and decreased thickening of the perirectal and presacral soft tissues as compared to 1/28/97 compatible with a favorable interval response to radiation therapy. There is stable mild left pelvic lymphadenopathy. No new mass or lymphadenopathy has developed in the interim."

So there you have it! I do not like the liver cysts, which seem to be increasing for some reason. What are they, why do they develop, and what potential effect will/might they have on my body as a whole?? What happens if my liver just becomes one big cyst colony? If the cysts are just liquid filled vesicles, what effect do they have on the functioning of the liver? What is the liquid they are filled with? Red wine?

I like even less the finding of some "cysts" in my left kidney!! And one is about 5cm (= ±2") B I G !! I guess that answers the question I posed in the last chapter (#16), asking whether the uncomfortable "heavy feeling" on my left side might be caused by kidney stones or whatever. Guess the chemo did T H A T damage?! NOW WHAT?

So there you have the results of the CS. It certainly does not put my mind at too much ease knowing all these neat little tidbits of information! Life continues, I hope!

Shiva, my Siamese female is about due any day now.

Thom and Mike are supposed to visit this afternoon from Philadelphia and take me to dinner and possibly to a movie, if it does not get too late -- I have to get up early for the flea market in the morning! May have a special half-off sale to try to get somebody to buy something!

I almost forgot: that short poem I included in the last chapter was from something that was hanging on the wall at home in Philadelphia when I was a teenager. I remembered 2 more lines of it after I sent out #16:

Morning's at seven,

The hillside's dew pearled,

The Lark's on the wing,

The snail's on the thorn,

God's in His heaven,

All's right with the world.

I sort of remember it was by Hillare Bellock, and there could be more lines to it!

Now I have to vacuum the rugs, do some wash and dishes, and clean/straighten up a bit before my visitors arrive around 6ish.

So at about 20h Thom, Mike and I went to a Chinese place not far from here, after deciding that there were no movies showing in the area that I might like to see. Dinner was great, the place was empty except for us -- and it was fun! We got home after 22h, chatted a bit, then while they are still here, I am finishing this chapter so they can take a H O T copy with them!

Hasta la vista (Sp., until we see each other again / until later),

Sonny

**A reminder: A C C B A R . P I T A is the title of this journal, chosen in Chapter 10 / 30 March 1997 (the Easter edition). It means Anal Cancer Can Be A Real Pain In The Ass.

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