* Chapter 13 * 20 April 1997

20 April 1997

Dear Reader and fellow traveler,

I know you are all on the edge of your chairs waiting to see the outcome of what I wrote in the last episode: Y E S, the squirrels did eat all of the jelly beans!Now that task is complete.

Well, Sunday was sort of nice so I went to the flea market -- sold not 1 cent!! Such is life! B U T I did get to see some real live people and enjoyed the fresh air for a few hours. I did not have the energy that I usually do to set up and afterward, pack everything up, and was extremely tired when I got home. I took 2 of those pamper-like things with me, just in case, but did not have to use them.

Bernar was at home when I arrived. He had moved my bedroom and computer stuff downstairs, as well as the numerous paintings, etc. that were hanging on the walls on the second floor. Now my bedroom is in the former study, and the combined study/computer areas are setup in the living room. It is sort of cluttered, but little by little I shall be organizing things so that it sort of blends in a bit. Now all I have to do is swivel the chair around from my desk to the computer -- very ergonomically arranged!

He also brought Fabiola, the female Sphynx cat to see if she gets together with Kamiel and has a couple more kittens. She is larger than he, and very affectionate -- loves to rub her snout and face on mine, probably due to the stubble on my chin. It has always been one of her habits. So now I have 3 cats sleeping under the covers with me at night. She and Devi, the female Siamese get along fantastically.

Sunday evening Lucy brought me another gourmet feast: pot roast, potatoes and leeks, one of my favorite veggies.

Monday I had to go to the dentist again -- the appointment was for 13:15, but I sat until 14:05 before I was called. When I complained about the long wait I was told that they probably gave me the wrong time as they are out to lunch until 14h!! That is an example of real organizational skills!!

What ever happened to that X-Files-like TV series, Dark Skies? I have not seen it listed for a couple weeks already. Guess it must have been shot out of the dark TV firmament??

Carolee brought me some tomatoes and a pepper stuffed with beans, and other vegetarian goodies seasoned with cilantro (Sp., coriander). I loved them but thought that the pepper and beans might produce some gas later on.

Monday night I went to the Cancer Chat group on AOL. Sometimes it can be so depressing! And this was the Survivors' Chat night!! Several said that they were "cured" years ago of some cancer or other, then recently found that they had it somewhere else. Is this the rule rather than the exception?? Somebody else shared with the rest of us that even 10 years after chemo & radiation they were still very tired!! What a lift-me-upper!!

Tuesday after breakfast -- around 10:30h!! -- I let the dog out and decided that the day was too nice to worry about the Vampire Complex (being in the Sun for more than 15 minutes) and got the rake and pruning shears out, put on rubber gloves and began getting leaves from around the Prickly Pear Cacti near the basement window (they grow in the sand dunes in the Cape May area, the southernmost part of New Jersey)

and other stuff around the border of the house. Cut the dead branches from the Hydrangeas (= snowballs) and other plants around the yard. Many weeping cherry branches were dead for some reason. I have to look for the pruning gunk-- that stuff you put on cut branches after pruning -- so I can prune some of the fruit trees. Remember, never prune when the moon is gaining in light (= going to be full) -- old Canary Island folk saying.

Weight: 205#, fully clothed & shod. Thus far this week I have been wearing only the "normal" underwear, not the Assurance things. Still have difficulty walking, climbing stairs, sitting in drivers' seat or anywhere! I continue applying the Biofine radiation cream and the hydrocortisone cream and suppositories about three times a day -- only to the anal orifice area. I still feel some peeling areas on my butt.

Yesterday I noticed that one of the IV sites hurts when I push down on it, and the actual IV insertion area feels sort of hard. Dr. Schaebler said that I should not worry about an IV site unless it feels hot -- I guess this one does not feel hot, so I assume it is OK -- B U T...

For some reason I felt very near passing out when I was having lunch. Sort of scary! Bernar would find me, IF he arrived after work, with my head stuck in a pimento loaf sandwich with the cats eating the potato-egg salad out of the plastic container! It just occurred to me that I had lunch after working on the yard -- what little I did! Guess I should wait a bit longer before I exert myself again!

WOW, did I have a bout of poignant gases all day -- thought I was going to explode!

Bernar arrived after work and started cleaning the upstairs, readying it for a paint job and general renovations -- should look great when it is done. Not that it was that bad -- the upstairs was not painted since we got the place some years ago because the previous owners had it done before the sale -- after the renters left. He removed the last old rug which remained, the one in what was my computer/TV room. It was really getting raggedy.

Wednesday after a shower-- and finding that my scrotal area was still quite sensitive -- I had an appointment with Dr. Aaron Sporn, an orthopedist with an office and examining area filled with framed paper clippings and photos, a framed sports medicine book he wrote, and loads of neat looking certificates from every imaginable place. He is the one that the Teachers' Pension selected to evaluate me for an accidental disability pension.

Well, the entire "examination" took about 5 minutes -- move your knee up to your chest, walk on tip toes, "I don't want to put any words in your mouth" when asking several more or less relevant questions, did you bring any X-Rays? (I did, and he perused them for several seconds), let me see the scar from the hip operation, and a couple other questions. I imagine that he does such things all day long and such, B U T what kind of meaningful evaluation can he offer after this kind of a "thorough" exam?? Scratch my possibility for the disability pension! He did not even ask why I was wearing the Assurance undergarment! Guess it must be his "don't ask, don't tell" policy!!

It was another nice day and I found the pruning paste, so I went around the fruit trees, cutting off the scraggly branches about a foot from the ground, applying the black gook to the cut end -- and getting it all over the pruning shears and my pants. Since I can not squat too easily, and any stooping motion is very uncomfortable, it probably took me longer than it normally would. Tracey lounged around the lawn soaking up the Sun like a true perro solar (Sp., Sun dog).

Bernar came over and cleaned up more of the upstairs -- in particular the kitchen cabinets and stove in the "apartment" up there. He has to buy a refrigerator -- there never was one -- guess the people that had the apt took it with them when they left -- but that was before it was sold.

Before he left -- he has not stayed for dinner for many months -- I asked him to snap the wire on the 18k ear ring into the slot, which I tried to do using a mirror, B U T for some reason I am totally incapable of translating a mirror-image motion into its real opposite counterpart. Must be the way my little gray cells operate -- or just a lack of practice?? I removed the ear ring (from left ear) when this cancer stuff began just before Christmas 1996 -- I got it in Tenerife when I was there for 2 weeks in July and August of last year. The ring I had before did not fit as I wanted it to -- it hung below the attachment point because the closing wire was longer and U shaped. The Spanish one is almost totally round, and the only difficulty with it is getting the slightly curved piece of gold wire into its resting place on the other side of the hollow ring. Even the woman at the small shop where I got it had some problem getting it in. So I once again have it on!

Many years ago Evelio and I were at one of the local malls and as we passed one of those ear piercing kiosks in the center isle he asked me whether I still wanted, finally, to get my ear pierced -- it was near my birthday in January (the 14th). He knew that I had always harbored this weird desire to wear a discrete stud or ring in my ear -- he never wanted nor got one. So, after a slight hesitation (which is not something I do too frequently!) I had it done.

Now my only other body altering secret desire still remaining was to get a tattoo -- which also came to be actualized when they had to do the tattooed dot thing on my pelvic area and butt for the radiation treatments to align the direction of the killer rays!! This was not actually the way I had imagined it would be done! I even asked them could they connect the dots to make a dragon (on my butt) or an Anaconda on my pelvic area -- guess where its head would be?!

I made boneless pork chops (3), fried mushrooms and Goya broccoli and Cheddar pasta for dinner -- the leftovers, which were not abundant, went to Tracey, who usually just sits around my legs under the dining room table while I eat, waiting for me to finish to see what her dinner will be!

John (or Jack, as he said the last time he phoned me -- and I asked "who"??), the neighbor in back, put the 2 trash (including the old rug and underpad from upstairs) and 2 paper and 2 plastic recycle containers out to the curb to be picked up tomorrow. Quite a pile of stuff this week!

I checked into the Colon Cancer Chat session on AOL again, seeing some of those to whom I send ACCBAR PITA already there and chatting away. It was a complicated event, since I was watching The Sentinel upstairs, running down to the computer during intermissions -- only to find, when the TV show concluded, that AOL had cut me off for "inactivity"! If they only knew how active I really was, under the circumstances....

Thursday is dull and dreary, in the 60s. It has been raining off and on.

When I let the dog out I was looking at the fish in the top pond, while Tracey was occupied sniffing something among the leaves on the side of the pond. It was a large Koi that apparently jumped out of the water and landed in some damp leaves. I brushed the decaying vegetation off the poor thing -- was still moving its gill flaps = breathing -- and I rinsed him/her in the water and let it swim back. At the end of daylight the fish still looked happy to be alive.

It reminded me of when I was a teenager with a 20 gallon aquarium containing a couple Three Spot Gouramies (the ones with those elongated ventral fins that seem to feel where the fish goes) and angelfish, neons and a couple other goodies sitting on the bureau in my brother's and my bedroom. One day after school I noticed that one of the Gouramies was not in the tank, and I looked around the bureau for it, finding the still gasping pez (Sp., fish) under the bureau covered with dust. I placed it back in the tank, and it also survived the ordeal!

It is interesting that, when seen from the dorsal (= top) surface, swimming in the water, the fish presents a certain size appearance, B U T when the fish is out of the water it is really much larger than it appears.

I was going to clean out the middle pond, but it was drizzling and I decided to let it go for a better day.

Dinner was a can of Progreso minestrone soup which I mixed with a load of wide egg noodles to make it fill me up a bit more.

The cats got some whitefish which I boiled in water for 10 minutes, then removed the bones and fins and gave it to them in nice sized chunks. They usually get this about once a week -- fresh stuff, just like in the wild! YEAH, they can always hunt boneless, cooked whitefish!! Five pounds of this delicious seafood costs less than $1/pound -- much less than the canned feline foods.

Then I really dropped a load at my not unusual after-dinner BM! Simply sitting on the toilet and getting up afterwards is difficult due to the pain -- I hope the radiation did not do a job on my already arthritic right hip joint, the one I got after that auto accident in 1982. Those baby wipes still come in handy -- B U T I usually have to press out some of the liquid they contain when I open a new refill, as too much of that stuff burns a bit for some reason. Now I have a sore culo (Sp., ass). Have to put the HC cream on and let an HC suppository do its supposed job! Thank gawd for the rubber gloves, which Bernar got for me at Sam's Club. Have gone through hundreds since this began!

Friday when I awoke at around 8:15h I was amazed to find that it was snowing again! Although this sort of unusual weather is associated with periods of minimum solar activity, it never ceases to surprise me!

As has been the case, I get up early, go to the bathroom to urinate, wiping the customary mucous that has been associated with these bladder evacuations (remember that Dr. Williamson said that this only occurs in males -- luckily females would not experience this technical difficulty -- I wonder why? There must be some inherent physiological reason??), then crawl back into bed again, partly because the cats are meowing to me to keep them company! -- I really hope that I regain some of my old energy once again. There is now so much to do here inside the house since I am now on the first floor, and it is all rather overwhelming in my present state of entropy.

Today was rather uneventful -- which may be good in some sense. It rained/drizzled all day, was very windy and coldish -- apparently several record low temperatures were reached in the U.S..

I puttered around the house a bit, moving my stuff from the upstairs bathroom to the one on the first floor. Did some relocating of small junk (my word for anything I like, think is useful) from one room to another.

Bernar visited after work, late. He cleaned Tracey's ears out -- she always gets them full of dirt and stuff, which bothers her.

I really did not feel like making dinner again, so I finally decided to heat another can of soup, Campbells Chicken Corn Chowder, adding those flat noodles to add some bulk. I feel full, and it was good. Tracey chomped the remaining noodles as if they were some gourmet doggy feast.

Fabiola was somewhat more receptive to Kamiel today -- so maybe in 9 weeks or so we shall find a couple Sphynx kitties crawling around again. Shiva and Chucky are still together in the basement casa gatuno (Sp., cat house). They all loved yesterdays white fish!

I had gases yesterday and they are appearing again this evening for some reason. This week I have used those Assurance things only once, which is a marked improvement over the last couple weeks. I like wearing the normal cotton briefs again-- much more comfortable (physically and psychologically), plus they suggest that perhaps things may be getting better.

I am very surprised that the discomfort (should I write, pain ?) in my anal area continues unabated. Those Oxycodone (the generic brand of the opium derivative) pills do help alleviate the pain, and probably also allow me to sleep sort of well-- though they keep me in bed much longer than I might like! Perhaps the extra rest helps also?

The radiation dehaired most of my pelvic area leaving the skin unbelievably chamois-like soft, almost like petting Kamiel -- and somewhat sensitive. I do not miss the hair in the least, but the sensitivity, especially in the skin fold between my thigh and las joyas de familia (Sp., family jewels, genitalia), sort of bothers me when I walk or otherwise move my legs -- thus the pillow which I continue to place between my legs at night in bed. Maybe I should use baby powder in the crease? (for the rest of my life?? -- that is gross!!)

I assume that my butt has also lost hair, but since I have not yet found a creative way to view the results, I really can not submit a report on same. I vaguely remember that it was sort of hairy, and can not feel any follicles now.

Saturday morning when I let Tracey out I found a note and some technical magazines on the front steps from Blanche Segal, the Chairperson of the Glen Afton Womans' Club -- they had called me earlier in the week asking how they could help me feel better. She said that she left me a cake last week -- which disappeared before I could sink my fangs into it -- the squirrels get hungry out this way -- I doubt that Tracey would have eaten it! She is sneaky, B U T not that underpawed (a takeoff on "underhanded")! Oh, well, one less cake to munch on, Scheiße (Ger., shit)!

In one of the revistas (Sp., periodicals), Launchspace (The Magazine of the Space Industry), I saw a relevant quote on Murphy's Law: things break in such a way and at such a time as to maximize inconvenience. This seems to be the Leitmotif (Ger., guiding principle?? I can not seem to find my Langenscheit, sorry! I sort of remember that to be the rough translation) of my life during these months since Christmas!!

It is unfortunate that my readers who do not receive ACCBAR PITA via AOL can not appreciate the varied hues which I use within the text to highlight words, phrases, peoples' names, etc., etc.. Since I seem to have the extra time [sic!], it is fun to add some colour to these tragi-comedical times and events!!

At about 14h I went out to clean the middle pond (±757.1 L = ±200 gal). Used a spare pump to get most of the H2O out, waded into what water was left with my rubber boots on, scraped the brown gook from the sides and bottom, used the Green Machine to remove the junk, and began refilling it with tap water -- adding the usual conditioner and 3 cups of sea salt. All of this would diffuse among the other 2 ponds eventually. The top one contains some 5,006.2 L (= ± 1,322.5 gal) and is home to the larger fish, while the lower segment has about 2,001.7 L (= ± 528.8 gal). The 3 parts of the water garden are connected by two 40.6cm (= 16") waterfalls. It is great to be able to sit on the adjacent patio and look at the varicoloured Koi, Golden Orfies, Goldfish, Comets and a Black More swimming happily along. Even more exciting is when it is feeding time -- they come up to my hand and wait for the food to drop in their mouths! Instead of pond fish food, which is extremely expensive, I have been giving them dry cat food in nice bite-sized pellets. They will actually eat anything, and the specially formulated fish pellets are probably the best. When some $$ comes in I have to get some more.

I also sawed the 3 largish dead branches off of the weeping cherry and applied the black stuff to the ends.

After lunch -- the usual sandwich -- the pond was full and I plugged in the pumps, noticing that the smaller filter was gushing water out the back, a sign that it was clogged with stuff, so I removed it and sprayed the 2 foam filters with the garden hose. No leaks after I replugged it in.

I am tired!

You would never guess what I found in the piles of papers and stuff that I slowly go through all day long: some of those instant win tickets for the New Jersey Lottery -- $33 worth! So I cashed them in at the wine place I go to and finally got 3 bottles of red wine -- have been out for about 2 weeks already. I also got 3 more tickets and rubbed them off on Sunday -- and won another $14!! What luck! Then I spent the rest on a small Chinese dinner and munched happily away when I got home (the Fortune Cookie says: You are a capable, competent, creative, and careful person -- so what else is new?!) . It is a shame that the winnings were not enough to pay some of the many bills I have piling up!

Sunday the weather was supposed to be OK, so up again at 5h and out to the flea market. It was lloviznoso (Sp., drizzly) when I left, but cleared up when I got there. It got so cold and damp that another dealer let me use her down coat, which kept me from catching pneumonia! It only warmed up enough to change into the jacket I brought from home just before packing up. This time I took in enough to pay for the tables and the utility bills that have been sitting around for awhile!

A lady had a large box of three colours of Hyacinths and the usual yellow Daffodils -- several dozen bulbs with drooping flowers attached -- all for $10, so I got them. On the way home I also bought 4 small Azaleas, 2 red, one pink and the other white. When I got home I planted these and most of the bulbs. Now all I have to do is live long enough to see them bloom next Primavera (Sp., Spring)!!

I really must be "feeling my Cheerios"!

Bernar was home installing some wall-to-wall carpeting he got for 2 rooms upstairs. They look good. He also got a refrigerator for the apartment, and a door to separate the upstairs from the lower level.

When I got into the house after planting Lucy brought me some lasagna, an apple and some cheese for dinner, so now I have to finish this chapter and munch.

Weight, fully clothed = 210#!

Say good night Gracey.

Sonny

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