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* Chapter 12 * 13 April 1997 |
13 April 1997
Another week has passed, to events / news / feelings,
Sunday morning at my usual defecation I did have some blood accompany the mierda (Sp., terds, shit -- can not find "correct" English spelling = feces, not to be confused with faces, although sometimes....!). That sort of messes up the previous events when the blood emission preceded the BM in which no blood was present. This seems more like what I would consider "normal" and more logical.
Spent most of the day in bed -- feel ratty (squeek, squeek!! -- S N A P -- almost got caught in one of the mouse traps!).
Monday John, the neighbor in back, called to say that Lucy would bring me dinner. She is an angel as well as a great cook! This time it was meat loaf (which never turns out when I try to make it!), vegies and a great roll and butter.
I am toying with the idea of making ACCBA PITA Awards for various very thoughtful individuals who have contributed in some remarkable manner since this whole thing started: most AOL messages, best nurse, best MD, most hospital visits, best radiation technician, most "meals on wheels" provider, most home visits, overall most helpful, most European contacts, etc. We shall see if I can find a way to make a certificate that could be sent over AOL -- have to figure out how to make it in the ASCII format or whatever and send it as an attached file. Sort of demasiado complicado (Sp., too complicated) for my little gray cells! It would be mucho más (Sp., much) easier to print and mail them, of course, but I do not have the AOL home addresses I might need, nor the family names of certain persons being considered for these prestigious honors. At school I would be the main source for award certificates for many different things, some of them mentioned already. I find it a personal touch -- hey squirrel -- there is a cute big squirrel looking at me from a branch just outside the second floor window behind the computer! What fun! Maybe he is looking for more jelly beans (see below)? So I got the camcorder out and shot the little dear!
It has become a lot colder and windy lately. Have to turn the pond filters off at night so that the lower water levels do not get too cold. The ponds are covered with a lot of algae that built up over the warmish winter. Ideally they should be drained and scraped, B U T it is a big job.
The yard, aside from the leaves and branches all over, is really kewl. Hyacinths, daffodils and tulips are blooming, the large Tulip tree/bush in front of the house is full of the most gorgeous blooms ever, the weeping cherry is full of nice pink flowers (that constantly fall into the lower pond!), some of the fruit trees are in bloom, and the evergreens seem to have grown another foot since last year. My favorite trees, the Metasequoia (three of them), an ancient relative of the giant Sequoias rediscovered in China some years ago, have some leaf buds on them -- they lose their leaves (= deciduous) in the fall/winter. This tree and its fossil remains was the topic of my first scientific publication (1958 -- my gawd, that was almost 40 years ago!! I was 18 at the time), appearing in the Mendel Bulletin, the student science journal of Villanova University where I got my B.Sc. in geology (minor in biology) -- my main interest is die Paleontologie (Ger., palaeontoogy = fossils), especially Ice Age bones, shells, etc..
I keep pressing SAVE so that I do not lose all this stuff!
Tuesday is very windy and coldish again. Went to the pharmacy to get refills of 3 medications, and got some "natural" milk at the Superfresh. The last time I drank R E A L cows milk was when I visited a Cape May (southern tip of New Jersey) dairy farm when I was in my teens -- a Cape May Geographic Society Saturday field trip -- and we all got to have some F R E S H milk right out of the udder!! Even attempted to hand-milk one of the bovines (L., bos = ox). Was udderly great -- and warm. Those were the good ole days!
Bernar paid another brief visit. He is helping clear the junk that has accumulated in the back yard of my former abode, not far from the Trenton train station on the border of Chambersburg, an old Italian section of the city. I had all kinds of old sinks (I changed to a totally new kitchen with stainless double sink, all oak cabinets -- loads of them, before I moved here after Evelio died almost 6 years ago), pieces of wood, broken plaster sculptures, trash cans filled with all kinds of miscellaneous refuse, an old refrigerator and microwave, etc. piled up in the yard. Every year for a period of 3 or 4 days the City has its neighborhood cleanup pickup, when the people can get rid of unwanted larger things. I really am thinking of moving back there -- three floors, a full basement, 2 baths, seven bedrooms, 14' ceilings in the front room and formal dining room, loads more rooms than this one, plenty of wall space to hang the paintings --rather than have them filling closets and every available free space here. It is a brick "town house, stands alone on a block of mostly row homes -- now largely 4 or 5 apartments per house!! I had begun restoring the place with ceiling medallions, mantle pieces, chandeliers, new kitchen stuff, etc., etc. while I was there. When Bernar lived there he also helped a lot in the work. It is about 1/2 restored now -- have not worked at it since I left -- if I moved back there I could continue the work that has yet to be done -- AND it is payed off! I would not have these enormous monthly mortgage payments to make! That place has had a FOR SALE BY OWNER sign in it for many years -- even had about 3 realtors handling it for a while, but no bites. The neighborhood is largely renters, probably most on welfare, B U T when I lived there (for over 10 years) I saw the area improve. A lot of houses have restored fronts.
What I like is the garden area, a lot smaller than this one. Nice walled-in patio and a 7 foot chain link fence enclosing the yard, with a holly and red cedar trees -- now quite large. The border has loads of Iris (some of my Grandmother's and Mother's), daffodils, a couple rhododendrons and Evelio's favorite lilies. Separate side entrance closed by an old wrought iron fence and gate.
A street or 2 away is the old Roebling Steel Wire Company complex, where they made parts for the Brooklyn Bridge. The entire complex which covers several city blocks is being restored/retrofitted. A new shopping center has opened with several shops and eateries, including an enormous EDWARD'S supermarket with great prices. A science center, some senior citizen housing units, performing and fine arts center, and some other enterprises are now being constructed after too many years of inactivity. The area should be a very socially/culturally dynamic center in the not too distant future. The Chambersburg area already is famous for its fine restaurants, the best pizza in Trenton or anywhere (though the absolutely best pizza I ever had was in Ibiza, that Spanish Mediterranean Island not far from Mallorca -- while the most horrendous was in Naples, Italy!!), bistros and general kewl ambiance.
Trenton is sort of halfway between Philadelphia and New York -- many who work in either of those cities take the train to and from work every day.
Sale Price : $45,000 -- it is insured for 89K! Taxes are cheap as hell, about 3-4x less than where I am now!
Wednesday at 11:30h the temperature outside is 35°F with a wind chill of 6°F! This is Spring? Tonight it is supposed to reach 20°F, a record low -- the poor plants!
Why is it that "friendship" can be such a weird experience at times? Perhaps it is like a Janus Complex, which I am naming after the Roman god of portals and beginnings -- he has two faces, one on each side of his head. An otherwise seemingly nice, helpful, thoughtful, easygoing, intelligent individual can have this mysterious other side of self-interest, scheming, hidden agendas, illogical reasoning, and terror inducing violent episodes which totally contradict the former traits. Evelio's mother is like that! When I used to visit her with Evelio at their apartment in Santa Cruz (the capitol of Tenerife Province) it was always, "estas en tu casa" (Sp., you are in your home), attending to every detail, all huggy and kissy and such. Then when she "watched over" my place in Tenerife, she literally emptied the house of everything that was shiny or useful to her -- sort of like a pack rat!! It will all be in my memoirs, Remembrances of Skies Past, which I began about 2 years ago, having finished some 5 or 6 chapters in a first draft, from some family history/preconception up to my years at Villanova University -- I F I live long enough! I thought that I would have time to continue it during my cancer treatments, B U T unfortunately I have not been too inspired-- and am totally amazed that I have been able to write what I have concocted of ACCBA PITA, under the circumstances!!
I finally decided to charge-up the 2 videocam batteries (an old Panasonic digital OmniMovie HQ massive apparatus) to take some video of the outside of this house and the garden. It was about 38°F when I went out with Tracey and shot some meters of tape -- had to recharge the batteries a couple times, probably because I had not used it in such a long time. No fish shots as they are all lazily swimming at the bottom of the ponds due to the cold. But I did manage to get some nice tree and flowering Spring plants in. May do it again tomorrow if it is sunny and not too cold.
I feel what I might term a heaviness on the left of my groin area, probably due to the radiated cancer site. Bowel movements are as they have been. Discharges continue. Still taking the medication, as well as the several vitamin/other supplements. The problem with these supplements and a better "natural" diet and all, is that they should have been a lifelong ongoing thing, N O T an after-the-fact attempt to remedy something that had been missing for years! In the cancer chat rooms they talk about beginning to use shark cartilage, various and sundry herbs, etc. now, when they already are suffering the effects of cancer. These supplements, etc. may be very helpful I F used for prolonged periods of time (coupled with a more natural lifestyle) , enabling the body to reach a self-healing state B E F O R E something develops! I remember that my Mother said my Father ate garlic, fresh almonds, etc. after he found out about the cancer. Incidently, I have not been able to find fresh almonds anywhere!
I discovered on Monday that I could sleep somewhat better if I would place a pillow between my thighs under the covers. I have no idea why it occurred to me to try this, but it seems to work. Before the sides of my knees were always sore for some reason -- it could have something to do with my bad right hip, which I really only feel as an afterthought with all the rest of the primary radiation discomfort.
When I signed on to AOL I noticed a special news thingy about a "large" Solar flare (magnetic-particle storm) which is supposed to have probable pronounced effects on Earth communications via satellite, as well as on large regional electrical generating stations. TV/radio reception and telephone communication could be affected. This was all part of my Ph.D. Thesis, and something that I would like to devote more time to, especially the climatic effects and the direct/indirect influences on the biosphere, to man in particular.
| Solar X-rays: Geomagnetic Field: |
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According to me, the storm might produce pronounced auroral displays, possibly even visible to us at lower latitudes in the Northern hemisphere. I also envision the possibility that a severe solar event, whenever it might occur, could wreck absolute havoc on magnetic data banks/tapes/mainframes and any and all forms of magnetic data encryption. Imagine what this could do to credit card financial records and to military logistic data sources, or even to home computer enthusiasts!! A complete wipeout/unpredictable error production at all levels of modern data technology! I would absolutely love it! There is a way to protect sensitive areas/rooms/buildings from being affected by these solar flare events: shield them by some sort of Faraday Cage, a metallic sheath such as steel walls enclosing the area to be protected.
It is great that our astronauts returned to Earth earlier than expected because they could have encountered some distressful situations due to this flare. B U T the poor Russians are still up there!
We are probably at the beginning of the new "11-year" solar cycle, meaning that solar storms/sunspots/general activity should be increasing in number and severity, B U T to produce such a notable event so early in the new cycle is rather extraordinary. Sunspot cycle 21 ended and cycle 22 began in September 1986 (Smoothed SS # = 12), reaching its peak in July 1989 (SS# = 159). The present cycle, 23, probably began in late 1996 or early 1997 ("probable" SS# = 6-7) -- it will depend on the final calculations, whenever they are completed.
I personally prefer another index of solar activity -- the Sun's radio emissions (it sends out a broad spectrum of radio frequencies), especially the radio flux at 2,800 MHz (= 10.7 cm) adjusted to 1 AU (= Astronomical Unit, the mean distance of the Earth from the Sun). Since December of 1996 this adjusted flux has been within the 70's range, with no significant flare activity noted. Apparently this will change when the April data is received next month.
Over the years- - I have been receiving the Solar Indices Bulletin from Boulder, Colorado for over 20 years already -- I observed that my vision gets very blurry for a period of time, sort of like a TV screen that shows just moving blurred lines, the day of a significant solar flare event, noting the eye distress and the date and time of its beginning in my agenda, then checking for possible correlation a month later when I receive the report. WOW -- it was noted in my thesis. As of the time of this writing, 17:25h, I have not noted any eye blurring.
Thursday I read in the paper that the Solar flare activity was not as exceptional as yesterdays news item suggested!
It was so cold last night that the middle pond was covered with ice!
I just returned from an appointment with Dr.Williamson, that really nice radiation oncologist -- sorry I said all those semi-nasty things about her. Have my next visit scheduled for 1 May, then 3 or 4 weeks later she said I should have another catscan to see what resulted from all the therapies. She did not make a prognosis due to the fact that the tumor was so large and the possibility that it had invaded a lymph node or two in the groin area. We shall see.
I did some wash. Sent my brother an email note because I had not heard from him in a while -- when I posted it, there was a missive from him waiting for me -- telepathy! Sent another email to Horacio, in Tenerife.
Bernar came over after work -- he did some of his wash and filled the hole in front of the entrance made while trying to clean out the sewer a while back. I called him to get me a refill of black ink for my printer, which he did.
Weight = 205#.
Friday was coolish, but over 50°F when I woke up, so I put the pond filters on. Swept the front entrance walk where the excavation was. Got quite tired after so little work! I really hope that I return to my more or less normal self before too long -- I hate always feeling pooped!
Also filled up four bird feeders, the kind that are squirrel proof -- if a heavy ole rodent lands on the perch a metal bar goes down and covers the seed area. Scared a rabbit out from under a bush when I was filling one of the feeders. Saw a couple Cardinals feeding already when I had lunch. I have been throwing jelly beans under the feeder outside of the dining room window for the squirrels to munch on-- do not notice that they are eating any -- they are not my favorite Easter candy and they would be here until next Pascuas (Sp., Easter) if I do not find a creative way to get rid of them! Tracey does not like them.
Am washing clothes -- have another 2 loads to do, I guess.
I have been beefing up my opium derivitive intake due to the stupid pain in my anal area. Very difficult to sit in a politically correct position! The family jewels are a lot less sensitive than they had been, probably due to using the pillow between my thighs at night in bed. Before, my nueces moscadas (Sp., nutmegs; nuez moscada = singular-- not used in the plural, B U T since I have 2!!) would be ground senseless in the cleavage between my thigh and the rest of you know what. Every little bit of comfort counts, under the circumstances!
Bernar stopped over to get his wash and to say hello.
Saturday morning is was dreary and raining. Let Tracey out and plugged in the pond filters so the bottom water mixes with the fresh precipitation.
For some reason my butt orifice area is very raw and painful. Keep putting the cream on and the suppositories in (need another box of rubber gloves already), and I suppose it does help some -- along with those nice opium pills. I seem to be noticing less mucous discharge. Still get up frequently during the night to urinate, which makes the cats sort of hyper -- the poor things!
I have to start bringing downstairs the many paintings stored in several rooms and closets upstairs because Bernar is thinking of moving back here to the second floor, which is nice. Some furniture also has to be moved. I shall just pile it up somewhere on the first floor for the time being and little by little find a better place for it all. He said that I should take a lot of stuff to auction -- B U T I did this before Evelio died and got pennies on the dollar for some really good stuff! Guess I shall have to force myself to get back to the flea market on Sundays again -- have missed too many weeks already! It is quite strenuous work and I would feel absolutely awful when I return home!
Bernar's visit saw a surprise hoagie from the deli down the street. A large one, that we shared in two big chunks each, costs much less than one at Subways, and it is way better, chock full of stuff.
I was vacuuming the rugs downstairs when he arrived -- had not gotten around to it for a couple weeks. After so little work I was exhausted and I had to snooze after lunch! Only took small 2 art works down in the meantime.
Hours later he is still taking stuff downstairs. We talked about where the furniture goes, etc.. Then, after the fact, it occurred to me to think it might have been easier for me to stay on the second floor -- B U T ....
It is still raining, sort of heavy at times. Tomorrow is supposed to be ok, in the 50s.
Weight: 205#. My stomach always appears to be fullish. After that great hoagie for lunch and what I had for dinner (no wine left)-- Bernar did not want to stay for la cena (Sp., dinner) -- I had a second sort of "normal" BM, but the larger chunks stll appear sort of flattened, which means that they must still pass some obstruction or other -- hopefully only the inflamation!
Thus far this week I have used 7 of those Assurance diapers. Have tried to wear the normal cotton underwear when I go to bed -- except last night. They are much more comfortable while sleeping. Have only had to wash 5 "drawers" this week. If this is an improvement, hopefully next week it will be more pronounced -- I hope!
End of chapter 12. Until our next episode. Stay Tuned.
Sonny
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