KARDAS - Accbar Pita

* Chapter 1 *

20-23 January 1997

20 January 1997

Hi,

Today I went to see the surgeon for info about whatever I have.

Just got home & had a hoagie, but aol is clogged up by the holiday, I suppose-- can't get on.

Apparently I have an epidermoid, squamous cell carcinoma (cancer-- malignant) of the anal canal -- thought it was up higher. He said he can feel it with his finger -- is hard & about 5cm large. It should/must be removed, BUT then I would have a colostomy, which I am not all that thrilled about -- AT ALL!

It could also be affecting other organs / systems. I suppose that's why they want a catscan & ultrasound. I think it is affecting my urinary system. The doctor said it could make me impotent! WOW, impotent & with a colostomy, what a catch for some interested lover!

The nurse just called and said I have 3 more appointments:

- 27 Jan - ultrasound of rectum

- 28 Jan - catscan of abdomen & pelvis areas

- 30 Jan - radiology appointment, do not know whether it is for radiation or just a chat. Is probably for radiation, which I also do not want/like.

I feel worse than I did before. Am even sort of dizzy! I need hugs and such, BUT....

I wonder whether there is another option to the colostomy thing?? Isn't there some drug therapy that could reduce the cancer without surgery? Why did all this start so fast-- since my last physical of about 2 years ago?? Is it stress from various sources?? Can hypnotherapy reduce the stress/tumor growth??

So that is the latest. What fun. Dying would be a lot easier!! I have really seen enough sunrises, fine art, places that I like, etc.

OK, So this is the latest.

Sonny

*****************************************************************

23 January 1997

News:

- apparently what I have is squamous cell cancer of the anus -- a bit lower than the colo-rectal cancer that I was under the impression I had

- catscan & ultra sound next week to see if it has invaded anywhere else -- which I think is probable! Also a visit to the radiation oncologist for some details on that part of it.

- Probably in early February I should begin chemotherapy & radiation. Chemo uses 5-FU and Mitomicin, which, as I understand it, make the cancer cells more receptive to the radiation.

- Protocol:

Days 1-4 chemo & radiation, a stay in the hospital, constant dripping

of chemo stuff

Days 28-32 more chemo & radiation

Plus 5 weeks of radiation (I suppose including the times I am in the hospital); Monday through Friday

- I forgot to ask him what is the survival rate of all this stuff, not that statistics is useful on an individual basis!

So that is the update.

I am trying to be as "normal" as I can, under the circumstances, BUT...

Sonny

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